Coffee Letter #030: 11:11 on the Microwave

And everything will be ok.

Remember when I told you that I’m lucky no matter how weird that is and how it does have a psychological explanation and I’m probably just an optimist in spite of my anxiety and overthinking tendencies? Yeah, similarly to that I go through life believing deep down that “everything will turn up fine in the end”.

Logically I know that is somewhat silly too and that “the end” is not a finite thing and I will only perceive it as “the end” when things will end up being fine and ignore all the days spent worrying. Maybe I am this ball of anxiety because I need to temper down these magical thinking core beliefs that I suffer from. “She's too optimistic, give her some anxiety.” The universe likes balance.

These are my post-election thoughts, naturally. I don’t know how my mind would’ve made sense of the world had the far-right extremist won, but alas, everything turned up fine in the end (as I knew it would deep down) and the Pro-EU candidate is our new President.

It does feel like the world is going crazy and bad people seem to win, so the effects of the elections in my country brought hope not just to us, but all over Europe wherever far-right candidates seem to have the votes.

On that note, I also think that we, as humans, are good. That our humanity is rooted in being good without having to try, without religion or the fear of burning in Hell. Again, in my rational part of mind I know we are not born good or evil and morality is something we are thought, yet there is a part of me that sides with Rousseau when it comes to this debate.

Why do I have these beliefs so deeply rooted in me when I consider myself a rational being who can very easily play devil’s advocate trying to convince herself of the opposite? The answer is simple: stories.

I feel that as long as we tell stories, we can’t possibly be anything but good at our core, right? If the world was as evil and fucked up as it seems lately, then we wouldn't continue to create stories about hope and doing the right thing and humanity. Unless I'm actually a fool, but even so I'd rather be a fool than live in a world without kindness.

~ read

I already talked at length about most of the books finished in the past week here:

My least favourite book won, so I don’t think the Booker will ever ask me to be on the jury panel (not that I had a chance otherwise).

The rest of my week was spent rereading Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, one of my absolute favourite books since I read it for the first time when I was 15. But rereading was even more fun because I finally read it in English — it’s very accessible, don’t fear it. It hits differently. I can’t really review it because you know me, I can’t find my words when it comes to the books I love. But I’ll tell you this: it’s extremely fun and stunningly written, sarcastic and witty, full of compelling characters and lots of plot twists. I was giggling out loud for most of the book. It’s also the blueprint for everything I like in romance books to this day — the grumpy sunshine trope, independent heroines, plus he falls first and he falls hard.

I also finished Priest by Sierra Simone recently — I was excited for a spicy romance told mostly from the male POV, but other than the narrator (that’s how I stumbled upon the book) there’s not much else to find exciting here. I’m quite frustrated there was no depth to the characters when there was so much potential! But this book gave the idea of starting a book club with the Devil because I started my review with “Dear Lord, when I get to heaven... although based on my reading history I'm clearly in a book club with the Devil.“

Think about it, we’re working our way up to Dante’s Inferno, we’re reading passages from the Bible, but as literature, we’re tackling Milton’s Paradise Lost, Bulgakov’s The Master and Margarita, Faust of course, and so many other thematically rich books that will surely keep HRH Prince of Darkness entertained.

~ watch

I watched a lot of TV lately but by far the most important is the BBC Pride and Prejudice (1995, mini-series). It’s Indra’s favourite adaptation so we read the book together and then spent an entire day watching 6 hours of Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy. What a splendid day. The BBC mini-series follows the book almost word for word. The acting is delightful, especially Jennifer Ehle as Elizabeth. The romance and comedy in this story are timeless.

Hometown Cha-Cha-Cha (2021, TV series). A comedic K-drama that follows the Hallmark blueprint of city-girl moves to close-knit small town and falls for her exact opposite. I eat this shit like baguette and butter. It was extremely fun and low stakes shenanigans up until the end when it got a bit too melodramatic for my taste. I loved all the other side-plots though.

Sirens (2025, mini-series). A dark comedy with thriller vibes you can watch on a rainy day about two sisters trying to ruin each other’s life. Kiddin’! But I’m sure one of the sisters feels that way. Meghann Fahy and Milly Alcock are a lot of fun to follow in this 5-episode dramedy — and, of course, Julianne Moore too. It’s a cosy binge, somewhat thought-provoking but you don’t have to think about it deeper should you not want to.

Together with my husband I watched the season 4 of Single’s Inferno (2021-, reality TV), a dating show where hot single people are thrown together on an island (Inferno) and they have to win some games if they want to go on a date in Paradise and find out their partner’s age and occupation. It was a nice season, but a touch predictable.

~ and other things I did last week

Lipstick: Maybelline Super Stay Teddy Tint. Now when it says “super stay” it’s actually super stay because I did my lips Saturday morning, then I ate pizza and popcorn and drank tea all day, forgot to remove my makeup (I only had the tint on), went to sleep and I still had my lips coloured the next morning — it only went away from the inner part of the lips, but I never reapplied it once. Needless to say I bought an additional three colours asap.

Other things consumed last week:

• In ‘Sirens,’ Meghann Fahy Sounds the Alarm (The New York Times). I started Sirens because of Meghann Fahy too so naturally I stumbled upon this article.

• How a Manga Megastar Makes Such Terrifying Work (The New York Times). An interactive article about Junji Ito’s mastery.

• Booker Prize judge Sarah Jessica Parker reveals the impressive amount of books she reads daily (Page Six). And the Internet doesn’t believe her. Grow up, Internet, it’s totally possible to read up to two books per day when that’s all you do!

• This Is Your Priest on Drugs (The New Yorker). What a surprise, God is a woman.

• The one change that worked: I’ve ditched streaming for CDs – and fallen in love with music all over again (The Guardian). As someone who mostly listens to full albums, I understand.

• Gillian Anderson’s Sex Education (The New Yorker). A profile on Gillian Anderson.

I’m slightly delusional and I will believe in our humanity for as long as we tell stories. I can’t help it.

I'll be travelling next weekend so next letter might be late, but I'll try my best not to. Next week will be a doozy (I'm going out each night) and almost all weekends from June are booked. Can I be consistent in summer or do any of my friends want to help with a letter or two?

Thank you for reading!

PS: I really wanted to spend more time with this letter, but alas, maybe I’ll return to the subject one day.