Coffee Letter #023: Migraine Warrior
I’m just gonna have to live with it.
My parents are worried about me. They keep pestering me about the blood test I’m doing and the doctors I’m seeing. And their most annoying question: “do you still have headaches?”. I cannot make them understand that it’s quite possibly that the migraines will always be there. One step away. Not constantly. Sometimes not for weeks (usually it’s days), but the headaches might never go away. Not for good anyway.
They have to come to terms with it. And actually, I have to come to terms with it. Because I forget. If I don’t have a migraine and a doctor asks me if I have any chronic illness my go-to answer is no. Until I remember (it takes me about 30-40 seconds). Oh yes, I do. If I do have a migraine I sometimes forget I have a migraine because I get used to the pain. I cannot describe it but if it’s mild one (aka no tunnel vision, I can get out of the bed and can focus on things more or less) I have to actually remind myself that my head hurts — your head hurts, dummy, don’t push yourself, don’t get your blood high yadda-yadda-yadda.
I need to come to terms with the idea that the rest of my life will be dictated by my migraines. And it’s not easy. Last week I had frozen margaritas with a friend and we talked until late at night. Next morning — headache. I can no longer go to a midnight concert or screening because I know what will be there for me the next day — headache. I didn’t go to sleep on time because I just needed to read one more chapter — headache. Ate dinner too late? Skipped dinner? Forgot to have breakfast? You guessed it — headache.
It’s a very tricky balancing act, knowing I’m always one step away from a migraine. And I’m stubborn. So I won’t stay home just because I have a headache. I won’t cancel plans. I won’t rest. I’m my own worst enemy, yet I can’t help but wonder if this is due to my stubbornness or the societal pressure that if something is not visibly wrong with you then you are fine.
It’s just a headache.
~ read
Once every few months I’m in the mood for reading manga and I do that obsessively. March is that month. But I’ve also read two picture books for kids that I got for review — including Wee Unicorn by Meg McLaren which I absolutely adored (it has a map, the illustrations are gorgeous and funny, and there are so many tidbits of wisdoms and lessons in only 34 pages), an action-packed graphic novel and a poetry book.
Manga time:
In the Clear Moonlit Dusk, vol 8 by Mika Yamamori. I read volume 8 but I guess it makes a lot more sense to talk about the full series and be as spoiler-free as possible, no? In the Clear Moonlit Dusk follows Yoi, a very attractive girl who everyone sees as a boy due to her appearance and deep voice, until she meets Ichimura-sempai, the only person at school who sees her for who she is. Obviously they get into a relationship of sorts, one that comes with a long contract crafted by Yoi.
I adore this series because it has all those bubbly first love emotions one experiences as a teen, plus the insecurities, naturally. It’s an ongoing series, and I hope volume 9 will be out soon.
Mika Yamamori also wrote the Daytime Shooting Star series (12 volumes), which features my favourite take on a romantic triangle (and I’m someone who hates that trope). Highly recommend!
My Love Story with Yamada-kun at Lv999, vol 9-10 by Mashiro. Another ongoing series (I like to suffer and wait, okay?), one that I had a rocky start with but I’m so glad I did not stop at the first volume because it’s one of my favourite manga series at the moment.
The series follows a college student getting into an RPG game to get revenge on her cheating ex-boyfriend. That’s how she meets a pro-gamer and starts pretending that he’s her boyfriend to make her ex jealous. But our pro-gamer only cares about games — or does he? It’s really really cute and I love following their relationship growing.
There’s also an anime out already, but only about half of the volumes are adapted and there’s no news of another season. It’s still a good series to watch.
A Sign of Affection, vol 11-12 by Suu Morishita. Another ongoing manga. It follows Yuki, a hearing-impaired college student, and Itsuomi, an upperclassman who falls for Yuki but in spite of speaking three languages, sign-language is not one of them.
It took me a while to get into it because there were some red flags — even though deep down we all know I like a red flag love interest (the heart wants what the heart wants). I really enjoyed these two volumes and I’m not sure if I was maybe too judgy in the beginning or too overprotective of Yuki. I also watched the anime and I can tell the red-flagness of Itsuomi is dimmed down, but I still found myself more interested in the secondary characters.
Currently I’m reading more sports romance — already on the second book in a series, although I’m not that much into them because it’s American football, not hockey, and who cares about American football, am I right? — and two books I need to finish in time for the book clubs this week.
~ watch
I am currently (literally as I’m typing this — not that literally) at Izanagi - Japanese Film Festival getting a high dose of Satoshi Kon (probably my favourite director when it comes to anime films) and having the time of my life. But I’ll tell you more about the films seen at the festival next letter (or maybe during a Specialty Coffee?) because I want to enjoy my time here instead of rushing to write about them.
This week I got up to date with The Pitt (2025-, TV series). I talked about it before, but I feel that I like it even more now because the writing is really really good — the episodes together are one 13-hour shift yet you get to know the characters so well. And there’s only two episodes left.
I watch Asian reality shows together with my husband (and sometimes anime) and this week we finished the second season of Love Village (2022-, Reality TV), a show that follows people trying to find their forever love in the second half of their life. It’s very interesting to notice how differently older people behave on a reality show. It’s cute and wholesome, and not the usual type of drama I associate with reality TV, even though Love Village features a diverse cast of characters and personalities collide sometimes.
A Sign of Affection / Yubisaki to Renren (2024, Anime Series). As I was saying… after enjoying the latest volumes of the manga I decided to give the anime a chance too and — surprise, surprise — I liked it a lot and watched it in three days. It only covers the first volumes in the series, but it’s done really well. I’m obviously a sucker for shoujo so I enjoyed the art style and the overall fluffiness of it. And it’s easier to like it now because I finally got to know Itsuomi better in the manga so I’m no longer creeped out by some red-flag moments — although as I mentioned previously, it’s a lot more tame in the anime. But my main issue with the story stands: the side characters are way more interesting because our leads are maybe too perfect and I gravitate towards more flawed individuals, that feel more real — sorry, not sorry.
Currently I’m finishing up all my Korean dramas as I wait for new episodes from The Potato Lab and I’m rewatching Twin Peaks. Plus I’m watching a fun anime with my husband.
~ and other things I did last week
Ballet: I saw La Fille mal gardée for the first time and it was hilarious — it was my first comical ballet and I had a blast. It was more theatrical and more exaggerated, plus there were chickens dancing. Highly recommend!
Food: We cooked a pantry recipe with just two cans of beans, one can of chopped tomatoes and one onion — it was pretty good, but I want to improve this recipe even more and make it a staple dish for our house on our meatless nights. (recipe from NYT Cooking)
Other things consumed last week:
‘Keeps me optimistic’: why You’ve Got Mail is my feelgood movie (The Guardian). I’m a Nora Ephron addict and I really like You’ve Got Mail even though it’s weird how the big capitalist bookstore wins in the end, right?
‘I demand to have some booze!’: how do actors fake being drunk or on drugs? (The Guardian). In case you’re wondering…
An interview with Mircea Cărtărescu and Sean Cotter, author and translator of Solenoid (The Booker Prize). I must admit even though I think his books may not be for me, I’m secretly (well not so secretly now) hope he gets on the shortlist and maybe even wins?
What’s next for this week? Two book clubs. One trip to the capital. Two days at a conference. And four days of 9-to-5, two of them without my work wife who is enjoying some well deserved time off. Plus the overachiever in me really thinks she can write a Specialty Coffee about the films from the festival when she has yet to read the books for her book clubs. A bit delulu, right?
Thank you for reading!