Coffee Letter #011: End of Year Reflections
On spending time in the hospital and a huge list of highlights of 2024.
I’m guilty of a bit too much optimism, especially in December, so it’s hard to sit down and look back objectively. At the end of the year I always get too excited to look forward and make plans for the new year ahead — but that’s a post for the last Monday of the year!
It wasn’t hard for 2024 to be a nice year (spot the optimist), not even the time spent in the hospital affected me that much in the grand scheme of things — although it did in the moment, according to me, other people just told me they were impressed I could still notice the little joys while stuck there. Finding joy in little things is such an integral part of who I am that I don’t even do it consciously, so I didn’t perceive it the same way as someone from the exterior would.
That time I was a set of contradictions (when am I not?). It was a delight to be awaken at 5 AM for the early-morning treatment and to spend my time waiting for the sun to rise or to spend all day looking at clouds and birds — luckily I got the bed next to the window. But whenever people were visitting me, which I was spending my whole day waiting for that bloody visit hour, I was feeling down, a side-effect of the meds most likely, but the visitors were also a reminder of the “real world”, the outside world that I so wanted to return to. The hospital is like another world, with its set of rules and a precise schedule, and you kinda get used to it, so that hour of visits becomes your only glimpse back into the real world and what you’re actually missing. Being forced to stop like that puts things into perspective…
When I start writing the letter I never know what it’s going to be about and I certainly didn’t mean for it to be about the hospital. I guess that was the worst of 2024, and it was still not as bad as August 2023 (we do not talk about Aug 2023)! One could say this entire year was an easy one. A bit of a bumpy ride, but the highs were plenty and their intensity no match for those few weeks spent in the hospital or recovering — although not being able to drink coffee for two months was definitely the worst!
It always comes more naturally to talk about the bad things (and there I was telling you I’m an optimist, ha). Just like when I’m reviewing books that I love, I find myself at a loss of words. So I’ll just write a tiny list of dear moments and things I’m grateful for and I promise that I’ll return to some of these next year and write about them in detail.
No list would be complete without me expressing my gratitude towards my partner (who took me on many surprise dates and took great care of me, especially during the hospital incident) and my friends and family who made this year so much brighter, old friends and new friends, and sometimes old friends becoming new friends again, but, since this is now a letter about the hospital, many thanks to the friends who came to visit, the friends who were constantly texting and checking up on me, the friend who helped me wash my hair (you have no idea how much it changes your mood to have clean hair) and the friend who sneaked into the hospital at 9 PM to bring me ear plugs. My year was better because of you.
And now for the list (maybe make another cup of coffee): all the cabins — especially the people you go there with, that waiter who kept refilling my prosecco glass on that last Valentine’s date at my favourite restaurant (unfortunately closed its doors this year, just like many other great restaurants and that makes me really sad, damn it, this was supposed to be a list of highlights), all the book clubs and all the bookish chats and bookish friends, the Magritte Museum and visitting Bruxelles with the best travelling partners (plus the Hoxton hotel), and since we are talking about Bruxelles and art — it was a pleasure to see The Death of Marat by Jacques-Louis David again, the tulip season at the Botanical Garden (this is a highlight every year, and Ana, I love that we always go together), spending Orthodox Easter with my family (there must always be at least one visit in my hometown for the best éclairs and fried anchovies), PRIDE, our honeymoon in Crete (and all the dakos one could eat), and of course, the wedding — from the best hen party ever (thank you, girls) to the actual event (Mads, I know you want me to talk more about it but maybe next year), all the time spent at the sea or in the pool, sleeping in a vampire’s lair in Sighisora, a team building with the book club girls, FILIT with Bogdana (wrote about it in this letter), a spontaneous trip to Maramu with our friends, seeing the Aurora Borealis from Cluj (once again, thank you Ana, for waking me up to see it), reorganizing my bookshelves, and finally catching tickets for the ballet Swan Lake and falling in love with it.
Probably many more that I just don’t remember right now. It really was a fun year!
~ read
As an end of year challenge, I cleaned up my currently reading shelf and everything that I was just one chapter in (except for Intermezzo) was paused and I was left with 8 book to finish by next year (one of which is Intermezzo, only 10 pages in). Since then I already finished one book, which means 7 left and only one week and bit to do it. This is just a fun challenge to clean up my currently reading shelf. I’m well aware I won’t be able to finish all books by next year. I’m still gonna try!
This week I’ve read a lot of romance — or I finished a lot of romances started a while ago like The Cinnamon Bun Book Store by Laurie Gilmore, which was a bit disappointing because it’s a book that screams autumn but there’s barely any autumn inside (it starts in the summer and all the activities are summery, autumn makes its presence known just in the calendar), plus I really enjoyed the first book in the series, The Pumpkin Spice Café. This time around I didn’t care as much for the characters or the plot.
But here’s some books actually worth the time:
The Paris Bookseller by Kerri Maher. This is the book we read for Bogdana’s book club this month and it’s a historical fiction about the Sylvia Beach who opened the first Shakespeare and Company bookshop. Obviously I was into it because I love Shakespeare & Co (the one in Paris right now, even though it’s not the original one) and I love books and humans who love books, but I can get the same enjoyment that I got from the book (if not more) from reading Sylvia’s wikipedia page. I personally found the writing and characterisation lacking, the dialogue shaky at times and the intimate scenes out of place. Read it for the story especially if you don’t like reading nonfiction because it’s pretty close to it just more palatable — Maher tells you in the author’s note what is fictionalised.
Not in My Book by Katie Holt. This is a slow burn spicy rom-com I received for review and I’m so glad I was approved for it because it was an almost 5-star read (for about 75-80% it is a 5-star read). It’s Holt’s debut novel so that makes me even more excited to see what else she comes out with! The novel follows two rival writers who are forced to co-write a book for their workshop seminary. The banter was fun, the tension was delicious and the romance was swoony. Our characters: a hopeless romantic and a tall, dark and broody hero in a gorgeous peacoat. What's not to love? To avoid spoilers I’m not going to tell you what bothered me about it, even though it’s a pretty standard trope for romance novels, just didn’t feel natural for our characters.
The Most Wonderful Crime of the Year by Ally Carter. A clean romance cosy mystery that takes place at Christmas? Yes, please! This one is also about two rival authors who are invited to a famous mystery writer’s party for Christmas and the writer ends up missing! Naturally our two rivals must work together to solve the mystery and fall in love in the meantime. It’s not great, but not terrible either. My main issues were that I cared more for the setting and I wasn’t intrigued enough by the mystery, nor did I care that much for our characters. The banter was really good at times though.
Confession by Nobuyuki Fukumoto. This is an old one-shot manga (first published in 1999) that only recently got an English translation (and I got it for review). I’m glad I accepted it in spite of the art not being my usual go-to style (it’s old and I’m more keen to shoujo cute and fluffy art style). But the story! Oh, the story! It should be made into a film asap! It follows two hikers who get stranded in a blizzard and one of them gets hurt. Thinking he’s dying, he confesses to a murder, but soon they find shelter and things turn deliciously tense and suspenseful! It’s a descend into madness and paranoia à la Poe, and some crazy fun stuff à la Stephen King’s Misery. I loved it!
~ watch
Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris (2022), d. Anthony Fabian. This might not be a Christmas film, but it’s a feel-good film about a war widow who dreams of having a Dior dress, so she spends all her savings to go to Paris and get one. It’s a film about the courage to dream and being kind. There’s nothing else to it, but sometimes I just need a bloody sweet film like this one.
I’ve also watched Christmas as Usual/Så var det jul igjen (2023), and while it’s not a great film (Kanan Gill carries the entire film), I was shocked by the amount of reviews calling it racist when that was kinda the point of the film, plus I liked that it shows how white people’s tradition can be perceived as weird too not just the other way around.
When I watch things with my husband it’s usually Asian reality-TV shows and this week we finished a fun cooking competition from South Korea: Culinary Class Wars (Reality TV, 2024-). It has only 12 episodes and it was very creative. The chefs themselves were really inspiring and creative, but the challenges and judging were too — I loved the Infinite Cooking Hell round!
~ and other things I did last week
Music: I’ve restarted the One Album A Day project from 1001 Albums You Must Hear Before You Die (details here) — each day you receive an album on email from their list of 1001 albums. Whenever I start this challenge I give up because there’s just too much dad rock for my taste and it’s not as diverse (genre wise) as I want nor are there that many women artists. Yet here I am, doing it again. But this time I’m not pressuring myself to listen to a new album every single day. They will pile up and I will listen when I’m in the mood.
This time it started with Cat Steven’s Tea for the Tillerman — Wild World had me under its spell since I was a teenager, but even if the album overall is nice and chill, can I get over his “out of context” comments on Salman Rushdie?
The great thing is that this album reminded me of Searching for Sugar Man by Rodriguez. This is a soundtrack album from the documentary Searching for Sugar Man (2012), which I also recommend (it won Best Documentary at the Oscars and the BAFTAs). The documentary follows two fans in the late 90s trying to find out whether the rumour that Sixto Rodrigues died is true or not.
Food: This weekend we went for the last time to Ciao New York, yet another great restaurant that’s closing this year. We ate their amazing zucchini fritters and my favourite limone sorbet. I’ll miss them.
Other things consumed last week:
The Year in Micro News (The New York Times). I’m not the only one who reflected on the past year.
Speaking of something that was trending on social media this year and now it’s back again: ‘We Can Bury Anyone’: Inside a Hollywood Smear Machine (The New York Times). I’m a bit shocked because I was a Justin Baldoni fan but two things can be true at the same time — Blake can be an awful person to work with (as evidence proved throughout her career) and she could also be a victim of sexual harassment.
The Face of Courage (The New York Times). A trial I followed since I first heard about it. Gisèle Pelicot is such a strong woman for making it public.
Another trial I was into this year: Mona’s Ladies Lounge wins appeal in bid to continue barring men from entry (The Guardian). The artist turned the entire trial into a performance art and I loved every second of it!
The Animals That Made It All Worth It (The New Yorker). Retrospective is the theme of the week.
I Took a ‘Decision Holiday’ and Put A.I. in Charge of My Life (The New York Times). This sounds very tempting, but I’m not a big fan of AI (I had a horrible customer experience this week). Plus there’s also this opinion piece on it that I read recently: Loneliness Is a Problem That A.I. Won’t Solve (The New York Times).
This week I had to pause some of my jolly events and long to do lists to rest and take care of myself — I could feel a cold trying to catch me. I still went to a beautiful and intimate book launch organised by Bogdana for Zâna Năsturel written by Florina Chirvase and illustrated by Cristina Frei. There were tears and magic and I bought some books for the cool mothers around me.
I have only two more days of work this year, and then no plans and no to do lists! The only plan is to cook fun things with my partner and watch an insanely amount of Christmas films.
Thank you for reading and happy holidays!