Coffee Letter #010: I Hate the Word "Busy"
On being busy and why I don't like it.
I was busy. My week was full — mostly pleasant events, but there was a lot on my plate nonetheless and I’m at my core a hermit (books are my religion). I don’t like to say I’m busy. The whole idea of busyness annoys me, especially when it seems that everyone and their mother enjoys to be perceived as busy. Or maybe it’s just my impression.
The busyness came mostly from good things: book clubs and coffees with friends, but when you go to the office at 8 AM and get home after 9 PM every single day for a week it adds up. The Universe was gentle and I had nothing to do all weekend (almost nothing). I took everything two times as slow and enjoyed my long lazy mornings cuddling with my cat or brunching with the book club girls — the annual brunch where we talk about anything else but books.
At the same time — as I’ve come to learn in the past couple of months — I can’t refuse these events no matter how much I crave my alone-time (with my cat, a book and a hot beverage). Maybe the healthy thing would be to pick and choose and prioritise but I have yet to learn that lesson. How can I say no to a coffee with a friend who is soon moving away or to a reading & tea session with my friend and her dogs?
What I’m doing instead is balancing, which is in a way prioritising. I’m prioritising spending time with these lovely humans over keeping the house clean or having a fresh dinner every night (girl dinner FTW), just like I’m usually prioritising reading over anything else. And you might think this is common sense, but it took me many years not to feel guilty that my house is messy and my fridge is empty. Except the house can’t be too messy or else it will impact my enjoyment of other things, reading included. But that’s a topic for another letter. I guess even this balancing process is a work in progress.
At the end of the day, I know I’m privileged, even when I’m super busy; my husband is the one who usually cooks dinner and I don’t have any other responsibilities — little humans or elderly humans to care for. I know I’m lucky, but also no two busy weeks are the same and my “busy” might be a breeze for someone else.
~ read
It’s the theme of this letter so you shouldn’t be surprised when I say that I was too busy to read a lot, but I did manage to finish one audiobook — The Midnight Feast by Lucy Foley, which didn’t impress me (like everything I read from Foley, it did not have the level of suspense I was hoping for), and one of my new favourite reads of the year:
Small Things Like These by Claire Keegan. This was the book club pick for two book clubs this week (two birds, one stone!), but I’ve been waiting for December to read it since I got the book anyway. Naturally, our story happens at Christmas, even though it’s not your usual cosy Christmas story. The novel follows Bill Furlong, a coal and timber merchant, during the days before Christmas while he uncovers what’s going on at the covenant in town.
I feel like I am ending this reading year on a high note because of this book. I absolutely loved it. It’s incredible, her writing is incredible, she is incredible — and I’m clearly incredibly uncapable to talk about the books I adore. But this book is really extraordinary, especially Claire Keegan's prose and how economical she is with words yet it captures you wholly. She showcases the mundane so well, day to day life but also the thoughts you have throughout the day as a normal human with a job and chores and Christmas presents to buy for your family. It's a great example of show-don’t-tell and she does it so masterfully, so authentically.
It works on so many planes and explores so many themes and it subtly gives you hints to place you in time. I loved the anti-religious establishment undertones, especially the accent on Christianity’s hypocrisy and being able to have a moral compass outside of the church’s influences. There is so much in this tiny novel! And the ENDING!! The ending does something very uncharacteristic when it comes to endings, but I won’t tell you more. It’s brilliant! You have to read it!
Guess How Much I Love You by Sam McBratney, illustrated by Anita Jeram. Oh, I almost forgot I also read the sweetest picture book for children about a little rabbit showing their love for their parent. Delightful little thing!
~ watch
The Holdovers (2023), d. Alexander Payne. A hot new Christmas classic has entered the villa! A difficult professor is forced to remain on campus over Christmas break to babysit the students that for whatever reason are not going home for the holidays. Humans are messy and this film makes you fall in love with its messy characters. It’s warm and touching and bittersweet, just like life.
What makes it so remarkable — other than being well-written, the attention to details, the great cast and cinematography and score — it’s the somewhat old vibe it has. It feels like a classic and I don’t know how to explain that. It’s streaming on SkyShow.
Just one film this week because you’ve guessed it… so I won’t utter that word again. But I did watch a new TV series:
Black Doves (TV Series, 2024-). A new spy series featuring Keira Knightley. It’s only 6 episodes long and I expected it to be a mini-series, but it was already renewed for a second season. Helen (played by Knightley) is the wife of the Secretary of State for Defence, but she is also a Black Dove — a spy who works for an organisation that sells their intel and other secrets to the highest bidder. When her lover is killed, her identity as a Black Dove is in danger.
It may not be out-of-this-world impressive, but it was thrilling and engaging and the best way for me recharge at the end of the day. I should warn you though, I love spies (and thieves and pirates and hackers and assassins!) so I’m always excited when I discover a new series! Story-wise it was quite predictable and I think it needed a bit more suspense, but for 6 episodes I understood the fast-pace. The show is available on Netflix.
Speaking of a few of my favourite things (spies, thieves, assassins, and whiskers on kittens) — I’m currently watching The Day of the Jackal, with Eddie Redmayne playing an elusive assassin killing for the highest bidder, but he catches the attention of a British intelligence officer and that’s how we get a fun cat-and-mouse chase across Europe. The show is on SkyShow, with a new episode coming out every Friday.
~ and other things I did last week
Music: It’s tiiiiiiiiiiiiiime! Don’t worry, I will not defrost Mariah Carey (or how we like to call it at the office — Maria de la Carei), but I’ll tell you about my favourite Christmas albums:
A Jolly Christmas from Frank Sinatra. Starting with something old — and the album I usually listen to when I decorate the house. It’s a classic.
Followed by the album I listen to the most when I cook Christmassy stuff: Kylie Minogue’s Kylie Christmas. It’s a fun album with covers, but also original songs.
An album I recommend to everyone from a band I recommend to everyone: Joy to the World by Pink Martini. It even has a Hanukkah song.
And something new: A Very Laufey Holiday from Laufey. This is so good that I broke my own rule and listened to it at the start of November — I recommended it then too!
Food: Yesterday evening we cooked Mille-Feuille Nabe from Just One Cookbook (our usual go-to website for Japanese dishes). It was delicious and it makes your house smell like sarmale. Hubby also made Ponzu sauce from scratch (also from Just One Cookbook) to serve the nabe with.
Other things consumed last week:
I am now obsessed with Claire Keegan so I read and watched a few of her interviews, but I really want to share these two with you: Claire Keegan on Small Things Like These: 'I wasn’t setting out to write about misogyny or Catholic Ireland’ (The Booker Prizes) and Claire Keegan: ‘I think something needs to be as long as it needs to be’ (The Guardian).
Sarah Jessica Parker Lands Her Dream Gig: Booker Prize Judge (The New York Times). The Booker Prizes jury for 2025 was announced and Sarah Jessica Parker is one of them — all because she commented on a Instagram video in 2022. Okay, it’s probably not just that, but still, it’s a fun story. My point is… I wish I was on that jury panel too. Or any bookish prize jury panel.
I know I didn’t watch any bad Christmas film this week, but I read this article: How I Aged Into the Bad Christmas Movie (The New York Times), which explores why they are so bad yet so good!
Only two video essays to share this time around: Is literature useful? Unemployment, elitism, and BookTok and politics from According to Alina, discussing whether studying literature is actually useful, and Marxism and Millennial Romance: The Sally Rooney Phenomenon from Roisin's Reading, which explores class consciousness and gave me some insights on Ireland’s view of class.
This whole busyness-business made me read three romance novel at the same time — my coping mechanism are rom-com novels but it’s usually one at a time. Now I’m currently reading three and I find myself really enjoying it, especially since two of them are quite Christmassy.
This week is not as busy and hopefully the word will leave my vocabulary soon. And the week after I will not be busy at all! Due to previous job PTSD I always take the week between Christmas and New Year off (thank you, amazing boss!) and I do absolutely nothing. I can’t wait!
Thank you for not being too busy to read my letter!